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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Death and Dick Cheney

It is just after the Presidential Inauguration in 2009. Former VP Dick Cheney is standing with entourage in a rich and spacious residential area of Georgetown. Death stands with shroud and scythe over Cheney, drawing Cheney’s attention away from messing with his gloves.

Death
I want your soul.

Cheney
(putting on scarf) Huh? What do you want? I’m busy. Talk to my secretary and schedule something. Right now I’m in a hurry.

Death
(continues to hover over Cheney) I want your soul.

Cheney
What? Did the Democrats send you for the sake of blaming me for the economic downturn that started with Clinton? Or maybe as a ploy for trying to overthrow actual balanced governing with an extreme leftist supposed new, New Deal? Or the intended health care legislation that the Democrats want to bulldoze true Americans, who are fighting to sustain their way of life at such a difficult time? No dice. It’s not my administration… I mean, I’m not in the administration any more. Bugger off.

Death
I came here because it is your time.

Cheney
Time? For what? All I can see is it’s time for the Republicans to make sure that poor schmucks like you don’t bother me. I can’t do what you conspiracy freaks think I can do, especially not now. I’m just your fellow citizen. Now scram. Get out.

Death
It is your time to die.

Cheney
(yells to his group offstage) Security! Seriously, I can’t talk to you if you are going to threaten me like this.

Death
It’s not a threat. It’s the truth.

Cheney
I’m on my way to a doctor’s appointment. If you’ll excuse me (aid comes rushing to him) Get this joker out of here.

Death
They cannot see me.


Cheney
What do you mean they can’t see you? (Looks at the aid) You see this joker right? What are you looking at me like that for? You think I’m nuts? Feh, go get John, he’ll be of use to you. Scat.

Death
You must come with me.

Cheney
Come with you? (low laugh) I just told you I’m on my way to a doctor’s appointment. I can’t come with you, even if you might possibly be… whoever you are. You aren’t doing some porn movie are you? I can’t believe Ron Paul let himself get mixed up in that. Where’s the cameras? Seriously, where are they?

Death
(sighs) I don’t like to reiterate. I simply want your soul.

Cheney
Am I being punked? Eh? Is that it? One of those crazy leftist entertainment shows? I tell ya, I won’t give in. This has little to do with anything of importance. Off with ya now.

Death
You cannot leave.

(scenery fades to white, mist)

Cheney
Well of course I have to. Hey, were did everyone go? What did you do? Is this an ambush?

Death
It is your time.

Cheney
My time? For what? It’s time for me to being making a public spectacle of you. You’re treating me like I’m some sort of pawn to be played. Well look here buddy, I could have you wiped out of your district faster than you can say Tom Delay.

Death
I do not care for earthly ambitions. I am here for your soul.

Cheney
(sneers) Too, late, I already sold it for my political ambitions. Isn’t that what you want to hear? Or is that too much of a shock for you? (smiles)

Death
Do you deal with your circumstance so lightly?

Cheney
No, of course not. Which is why I’m trying to tell you to get lost. Hey, what happened to the street? Oh, I get it. You must have slipped me some drug, or it’s some new gas terrorists are using against us. This is a plot not only against the country! You ingrate, what the fuck do you take me for?

Death
A mortal.

Cheney
That’s fucking right! You miserable cur, you don’t know the value of human life. Why do you continue to traipse upon the fragile psyche of this country? Always threatening us with the wrath of the great Allah.

Death
I am not religious, I am Death.

Cheney
But don’t you get the greatness of family? Of community? Don’t you have ties to something that makes you human, you damned twit of a terrorist?

Death
Do you still have ties? A loved one? Your daughter?

Cheney
Of course I love my daughter. There’s no question where my heart lies.

Death
I thought it was in the hands of a doctor.

Cheney
(He chuckles harshly) That heart? That’s probably somewhere out in some toxic medical disposal unit rotting away at this point. You’ve read up on me. At least you have some sense in your head, you fucking moron. I don’t have time for this though. Is there some antidote to this? Or is this some sort of a Goddamned dream state? Are you supposed to be something else?

Death
I am merely Death.

Cheney
You’re the death of me, you damned fuck. This is a waste of my time. If you give a damn about life, you’d listen to me and what I have to say. Which first and foremost is, let me GO!

Death
It has not been my decision that you should die now. It is fated.

Cheney
Fate!? Fate? What is this horse shit you’re trying to pull? Fate has nothing to do with it. It’s your own intent that I should be here, for some reason that you’re not saying.

Death
There is no reason. Only fate. It is your time.

Cheney
(quiets down) Now you listen to me. I have been more than reasonable with your attitude. What is it you want?
Death
I want your soul.

Cheney
I see. And how would you assume to obtain said soul?

Death
By you coming with me.

Cheney
That’s not an answer.

Death
It is not for you to understand.

Cheney
I think if it’s my soul, I should understand what it is you are to do.

Death
Mortals would not understand. You don’t understand or believe in Fate, even though it exists. This process of souls is eternal and unchanging, yet you do not believe, much less could you understand.

Cheney
I see, you don’t think I’m intelligent enough for it.

Death
It has nothing to do with worldly intelligence.

Cheney
But you said it was because I would not understand. How is that not a part of intelligence? What? Is it a matter of intuition? Something else? A vision? Are you getting all new-agey crap on me? What?

Death
No mortal can understand the process. They only need to know when their time has come.

Cheney
But that doesn’t give the mortal a chance to rebut. What if there’s a better reason for them to stay?

Death
That is taken into consideration with fate, not death. Death resides on the decision of fate.

Cheney
So it’s a matter of who I have to talk to in order to change this? Who do I talk to, to get you to change your mind? This fate? Is it a person or a department?

Death
It is fate. It merely is a part of being.

Cheney
But if it’s a part of being, then it would be something that I could access, right?
Death
You cannot access it in some mortal way. It creates decisions in a way past your reasoned comprehension.
Cheney
Then it’s intuition, right? Something that has to do with being? What has more to do with being than being in the moment? You can’t argue with that.

Death
It is not to be argued.

Cheney
Are you saying this is some sort of fascistic Nazi regime here? I thought I stilled lived in the USA.

Death
This is one more reason why you could not understand. You talk politics as a hypocrite by your own standards. Your words and mind are closed. How could you be open to something that is beyond you?

Cheney
You’re a fucking leftist! Get out of that robe! This ain’t no costume party!

Death
(opens robe) Is this the embodiment of a leftist?

Cheney
(shaking and white) No… No…

Death
You will go with me.

Cheney
No… No…

Death
(leads Cheney) We will go.

Cheney
No… (shakes out of it) No! I beg of you! Whatever you are! There is no reason I should die! Why am I being cornered! Why me?

Death
Death is not for you alone. It is not special, it is common. It does not discriminate by race, gender or creed. All people see me at some point.

Cheney
But you… Why? Why now? Where are you taking me? What did I do?

Death
You have merely lived the run of your life.


Cheney
But is this fate? Can fate be changed?

Death
(pauses) There is always a possibility.
Cheney
Is this something that I can do anything about?

Death
There is always a possibility.

Cheney
Is there a how? (tears up)

Death
There will be time enough for these questions to be answered in the great eternal cycle of life.

(Street returns)

Cheney
Wha… What’s happening? John? John’s there?

Death
You are to go to the hospital.

Cheney
Really? What? I… I don’t understand.

Death
You cannot tell anyone you have seen me, for they will not understand.

(fades out of Cheney’s sight)

Cheney
(grasps chest, falls to knees, says to no one in particular) I’ve had a vision of Death.

Death
Now you must continue on your journey to the hospital. Go to your comrades.

Cheney
(Gets up, still staring into space) We need to go to the hospital. Now. Move it.

Death
I will go with you for the journey, and fate will be the determining factor.

Cheney
Fate… Fate… Yes. Fate. My fate to go see the doctor, my soul in his hands…

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